The crucible for silver and the furnaces for gold,
But man is tested by the praise he receives.
Proverbs 27:21
It’s no secret that going through difficult things in our lives tests our character. And if we pass the test, it strengthens our character. When we go through financial crises or health crises or relationship difficulties, we find out what kind of person we are. We often call these experiences crucible experiences. A crucible is a bowl that you can heat to such high temperatures that metals will melt in the bowl. If you put gold or silver in a crucible and make it hot enough, all the impurities in the gold or silver will burn off of the gold and silver and leave you with just the pure, precious metal.
Crucible experiences in our lives test us. They show us what we’re really made of. And they have the potential to strengthen us. It’s interesting that in the leadership literature, books and studies of what makes a good leader, one common element in all good leaders is that they have had crucible experiences in their lives, experiences that have forced them to wrestle deeply with who they are and what they believe most deeply.
Usually crucible experiences are negative experiences, difficult, painful things in our lives. But the proverb we’re studying today says that a crucible test of your character is how you deal with the praise you receive. The crucible for silver and the furnaces for gold, But man is tested by the praise he receives.
Now, clearly, praise itself is a good thing. God has created us as creatures of praise. We were made to give praise to God, to ascribe worth and value and esteem to the one from whom all goodness and beauty flows, to exalt and lift up the name of God. Most of the time that the Bible talks about praise it talks about us praising God. As image bearers of God we were also made to receive praise, to be valued, loved, and esteemed. Such affirmation is essential to the flourishing of human life and human community. Show me a child who has never been loved and valued, and I’ll show you someone who is much less than what God intended that person to be.
We have the model for this giving and receiving of praise among the three persons of the Trinity of God. When Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River, the Father cried from heaven, "This is my beloved Son with whom I am well pleased." In John’s gospel, Jesus continually praises his Father and exalts the Spirit who will come. In the same way we, as image bearers of God, mirror that same giving and receiving of praise with each other. Yes, we are creatures of praise.
The problem is that when sin came into the world, the natural flow of giving and receiving praise got all messed up. And one of the complications of sin in the world is that receiving praise can be very hazardous to our spiritual health. The proverb says that "the praise we receive" is a test of our character: like gold and silver are put into the fire to test and see what is pure gold and pure silver, and what is worthless impurity, so praise is the fire that tests your character. It’s tests whether you have a grasp of who you are, who God is, and what reality is.
As I thought about this proverb this week, I thought of several different ways that praise tests us. First, there is ill—motivated praise, what the proverbs call flattery. Flattery is excessive praise. But it’s not just excessive; it’s praise that deliberately attempts to hook into the vanity of the one being praised. In my current job at Calvin Seminary, among other things, I teach preaching. Every once in a while I’ll get a student in a preaching class who will just suffocate me with praise for one thing or another. This person sometimes doesn’t even know me or the others present. I can usually glance around the room and tell by the body language of the other students that this person is a sham. The other students are embarrassed. They’ve heard this before.
The flatterer is a manipulator. He wants something from you, and he proposes a deal: I will praise you if you love me or do this or that for me in return. Proverbs 29:5 says, "Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet." Pity the person who falls for and then begins to seek out the ill—motivated praise that we call flattery. It’s a net around your feet that will trip you up.
Second, simply getting too much praise is dangerous and is a test of our character. I’ve been a mentor of several pastors in the early years of their ministries. I still remember one particular pastor who was especially gifted. Mary was a great person and a great preacher—a very insightful, compassionate, caring person. A point I made with Mary every once in a while, and she appreciated it and understood it, is that you must be careful. You will receive much praise, and there is something addictive about too much praise, even when it is well—intentioned. You can get used to a certain level of praise, and when that begins to wane a little bit, which it always does, the temptation is to do not what’s necessarily right, but what you need to do to keep that praise meter up. That’s the beginning of the end of integrity in ministry.
Yes, simply too much praise tests our character. In my experience the most valuable feedback does not come from people who praise you all the time, but comes from people who are much more measured with their words.
So, ill—motivated praise (flattery) tests our character. Simply too much praise tests our character. Third rejected praise is another test of our character. That is, not accepting appropriate praise. When you have worked hard to prepare a wonderful dinner for your guests, and your guests say, "Thank you for the wonderful meal," you should not say, "Ah, it was nothing." For starters, that’s not true; you worked hard on that meal and you know it. Moreover, even if you did not work hard, it’s important—good manners if nothing else—to allow people to express thanks, to state their appreciation for something you have done. The reaction "Oh, it’s nothing," even though you think you’re just being modest is actually a rejection of that person’s thanks and praise. Allowing others to praise us, graciously receiving the thanks and commendation of others, is also a test of our character.
A fourth way in which praise tests us, is how we deal with what I will call undeserved praise. Educators have come under a lot of fire in recent years for taking legitimate concerns for the self—esteem of a child and for positive reinforcement rather than criticism to ridiculous extremes. "Johnny, how much is 2+2? Seven. Wonderful, Johnny, wonderful. Does anyone else have an opinion about this?"
Certainly I do not want to minimize the importance of teachers and parents and all of us being affirming and supportive and positive. For purposes of motivating people, it’s much better to catch people doing things right and affirm that, than it is to catch people doing things wrong and criticize that.
But the problem with inflated praise, or just downright undeserved praise, is that number one, at times we’re simply not being truthful; number two, we end up devaluing all praise. If we call "great" something that really is at best only mediocre, then what do we call something that was truly great? Third, I’m convinced that we create fragile people when we are so afraid to give even a kind word of correction, a gentle dose of reality.
Too many parents today assume that the less pain their children experience, the healthier and happier and better they’ll be; and then reason they can never say anything painful to them. That’s simply not true. In fact, it’s a recipe for disaster.
A fifth and final way that praise tests us is what I will call truncated praise—praise that gets cut off from the natural flow of praise in the universe. When we are functioning as God created us, the praise we receive gets mirrored back to the creator, it flows toward us and then back away from us in praise and thanksgiving to God. Praise that stops with us, that gets truncated, and then gets us thinking too much or too long about "me" is extremely dangerous to our spiritual health. But praise received that can be turned into gratitude and praise given to God, and into energy and passion for developing the gifts that God has given us. That is the full circle of praise that makes the whole creation dance and that is at the heart of why God did all of this in the first place. This also explains, by the way, why we are creatures of praise. We were made to worship God. Christian worship is where praise most clearly and dramatically comes full circle.
It would be easy to hear this message today and conclude, "Well, we probably just shouldn’t praise each other so much. That’s probably the safest way to avoid all these dangers." I wouldn’t want you to conclude that, not at all. Certainly, we should not engage in inappropriate praise. But we all need appropriate encouragement, affirmation. Most of us are weak and tired, and need to be lifted up from time to time. The fact is, a word of praise aptly spoken can change a life.
I still remember such a word that was spoken to me. I grew up in a small town in Iowa and went to the Oskaloosa School for Christian Instruction, the somewhat cumbersome name of my grade school. Back in those days, when you graduated from 8th grade from that school, you usually went on to Pella Christian High School sixteen miles away. Our 8th grade teacher, Mr. Zimmer, had always told us that the Oskaloosa School for Christian Instruction, a small school, had a legacy to uphold, a legacy of supplying the best debaters to the PCHS debate team. Indeed, I knew that PCHS had won the state championship in debate that year, and that three of the four debaters were from Oskaloosa — Rob Rooy, Norman Roozeboom, and Daryl Bruxvoort. They were giants to me. Well, one of the reasons Oskaloosa fed so many debaters to Pella Christian High School was that each year, Mr. Zimmer, our eighth grade teacher, held the eighth grade debate. It was one half of the class against the other half on some subject. One student spoke for each side. When I was in eighth grade, I was chosen as one of those speakers. I have no memory of what subject we debated. I remember, but only faintly, claiming and doubting that our side had won. But I remember with total clarity Mr. Zimmer coming over to my desk after school that day and telling me that I had done a good job and that I should go out for the high school debate team. As I look back now, I see how God used that simple word of praise in a long chain of events that eventually led me to being a minister.
Yes, praise is dangerous. Indeed, as the proverb says, we are tested by the praise we receive. And as we have seen today, we only pass the test when that praise we receive brings us to God and to Christ, in gratitude for what he has given to us, in praise for his excellencies only dimly mirrored in us, and in service and dedication to his kingdom. But appropriate praise is part of the music of the spheres. It is essential for the flourishing of human life and community.
The story is told of a retirement dinner that was held in the early 1950s for a professor at the seminary where I currently teach (Calvin Seminary). Without a doubt, Dr. Samuel Volbeda to this day has been the most influential teacher of preaching that Calvin Seminary has ever had. Years ago I managed to get a hold of some of the lecture notes of Dr. Volbeda. I came to appreciate that Volbeda was not only a teacher of techniques and methods in preaching; he was a deeply spiritual man.
As the story goes, Dr. Volbeda received tribute after tribute that evening for his dedicated years of teaching and preaching. And then, at the end of the evening, he slowly came forward took the lectern, and announced, "I have heard your praise, and I put it all at the feet of my Savior, my Lord Jesus Christ."
That is the full circle of praise. May all the praise we give and receive find its final resting place at the feet of Jesus.
Duane Kelderman
Rev. Duane Kelderman is the Vice President for Administration and an Associate Professor of Preaching at Calvin Seminary in Grand Rapids. Before his current position he served as pastor in Christian Reformed congregations in Toledo, Ohio; Denver, Colorado; and Grand Rapids, Michigan. Rev. Kelderman is married to Jeannette and has three children and two grandchildren. He was born and raised in Oskaloosa, Iowa and attended Calvin College and Calvin Seminary. He enjoys reading and carpentry.
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