Praying To Be Used

By: Paul DeVries

Scripture Reading: Nehemiah 1:11-2:5

March 8th, 2009

I had a couple of conversations (some months ago now) with a wonderful man of God—a person who has been used powerfully in God’s Kingdom and Christ’s Church. He has been a faithful teacher, a strong believer, and an eloquent speaker. But in the past months, an illness which is often degenerative has consumed much of his strength and ability. As I talked with him over a period of several weeks during some of the darkest times of his illness, he spoke honestly about the difficult place in which he found himself. I remember one thing that he told me in particular. During those weeks he said to me three times, on three different occasions, with deep feeling, "I am worthless to this church, now." "I am worthless to this church, now." Here was a man who found himself in a place where he could see no way for the Lord to use him and it was tearing at his heart.

Have you ever felt that you where in a place, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually where there was no possible way for God to use you? So often, I think we find ourselves in difficult places. When we are in those difficult places, feeling worthless—perhaps feeling abandoned by God—it is easy to think there is no way for God to use us in his Kingdom. Sometimes the useless feeling doesn’t come from an illness at all. Perhaps we simply are locked into a job that doesn’t give us any opportunity to serve God. So maybe we just pray for God to help those in need, figuring that there is no actual way for us to be used beyond prayer. Maybe we feel unqualified to work for God—to be used in his kingdom. All of these things can keep us from praying to be used by God.

But none of them stop Nehemiah. I love Nehemiah. What a guy and what a character! Not only is he in an impossible place with an impossible job; but he also prays an improbable prayer for an impossible outcome. Nehemiah, what a guy!

Our scriptural story begins with the impossible place in which Nehemiah finds himself. Nehemiah is a foreigner living in a country hostile to his native country—this hostile country is overwhelmingly powerful. The Persian Empire is the world power of its day, holding Israel, Nehemiah’s homeland, tightly under its thumb. Artaxerxes is the absolute monarch of the empire. He has the power to kill, oppress or enslave whomever he wishes. And Artaxerxes is Nehemiah’s boss. Nehemiah works for the king. This is the place that Nehemiah finds himself.

But his place is not only difficult because he is a foreigner in the employment of an absolute dictator, but also because his heart is elsewhere. Nehemiah’s heart is back in his homeland—Israel and God’s holy city of Jerusalem. He still loves the homeland and is faithful to the one true God. He still holds out hope for the covenant promises of God made to Israel. He is hoping that the exiled people who have already begun to return to Jerusalem, will rebuild the walls and the holy city will rise again. Yes, he probably wishes that he could be a part of this dramatic rebuilding and restoration, but what can he do? He is subject to the King. All he can do is hope and wait for news from the homeland. He’s in a place where it is impossible for him to be used for God’s restorative work in Jerusalem. So he simply waits, unable to be used.

He waits for the news of how God is doing his Kingdom work. But when the news comes it is not good. The news is devastating. The rebuilding that he had hoped for, in which his brothers and sisters had labored, has been stopped. The homeland is still in shambles. In fact, as best we can tell by piecing the biblical and historical record together, it is king Artaxerxes himself—Nehemiah’s own boss—who has put a stop to the work in Jerusalem. Apparently, the king, influenced by his officials, is concerned about the rumor of uppity, rebellious Israelites in Jerusalem. And so, as he hears reports of possible rabble—rousing disturbances in Jerusalem, he puts an end to the rebuilding. As recorded in the fourth chapter of Ezra, Artaxerxes has declared that the work must end. It is this Artaxerxes who is the absolute ruler and Nehemiah’s boss! You see the scope of the problem!

Nehemiah is in an impossible place and he has an impossible job. Now, it is true that Nehemiah can still do his job, even having heard the bad report from Jerusalem. It is true that Nehemiah could just keep his head low (as we say), ducking beneath any trouble, making no waves, stirring up no trouble, just doing his job. But he loves his God and he loves his homeland—how can he keep working for the very King that has brought his people’s dream of restoration to a halt? You see the problem: His job has become impossible because his heart is not in it. But there is nothing that he can do, is there?

Often I think we, too, find ourselves in impossible places and situations where we believe that there is no way for us to be used by God anymore. Some of us are tempted to simply give up in despair—to figure that all we can do is pray for God to somehow do something through someone (someone else, of course, since we can’t).

Ironically, this frustration at not being useful is strongest amongst those who have been most faithful. Faithful people who find no way to be involved get especially frustrated. While some of us may simply give up and say, "Well, I guess God will have to use someone else," and then not worry about it anymore; those most faithful among us aren’t satisfied with that.

I think again of my friend who feels like he is worthless to the church now because of his illness. One of the things that I find interesting about his complaint of being worthless to the church is that he doesn’t complain about other things that I think many of us would complain about. His first and primary complaint, for example, is not about being unable to ride his bike with his wife, his kids and grandkids. He doesn’t, first and foremost, complain that he can’t walk as far, or go out as often as he use to. In short, he doesn’t complain about himself and what he has lost; he complains that he can’t be used. That’s what bugs him.

I think Nehemiah must have felt the same way. And so, he prays. Nehemiah prays—and what a prayer it is! His prayer is an improbable prayer. He doesn’t begin his prayer with crying out in frustration to God. He doesn’t demand to know why God hasn’t yet restored the people of Israel. He doesn’t demand that Artaxerxes be struck down for thwarting the plans of the Israelites. Instead, he simply confesses his sin. He confesses the sins of his ancestral family. He acknowledges that it is Israel’s own fault that they are in this mess. He acknowledges that God is a just God. He prays a prayer for forgiveness.

This is an improbable prayer because we might expect Nehemiah to be angry, frustrated or even bitter—but apparently not. Even after the utter failure of God’s people back in the homeland, Nehemiah’s concern is to come before God with a heart of confession. As if that isn’t improbable enough, there is more. He prays, as recorded in verse 11, that God will be "attentive" to his prayer because he is God’s servant. He prays the God’s ear will be attentive to the prayers of the other servants of God as well. Surely if God was going to listen to the prayers of his people he would have already done so, don’t you think? It is improbable that he will listen now, after having turned an apparent deaf ear toward the people for so long. I don’t know about you, but when I am in an impossible place, with a job that makes it impossible to be used by God, I don’t usually expect him to hear my prayers. I feel like my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling in circumstances like that. But not Nehemiah, he prays an improbable prayer asking God to hear.

Then the prayer gets even more improbable. He ends his prayer by asking that God will give him success in gaining the favor of Artaxerxes. Remember, that this absolute ruler, Artaxerxes, has already stopped the rebuilding of Jerusalem once, and now, apparently, Nehemiah is going to seek Artaxerxes’ favor regarding Jerusalem. This is most improbable; in fact, it boarders on the ridiculous! Nevertheless, Nehemiah prays for God to give him favor in the presence of the king.

As the last line of the 1st chapter of Nehemiah tells us, Nehemiah is cupbearer to the King. Most of us would not see this position as an advantageous one. Oh sure, if you do the scholarly work and read about it, you will find that the historic position of cupbearer to the king is really a pretty responsible and important position. Nehemiah was not a menial servant. He was a key part of the king’s court—a sort of ancient secret service man whose role was to insure the safety of the King’s food and drink. So he has a relatively important role. But still, he is a servant to the king. He made his living by being willing to die for the king. And in the culture of Nehemiah’s day, cupbearers did not ask for, nor did they expect to receive, any favors from the king. Remember, the king is an absolute dictator, who can kill anyone, for any reason, at any moment. Nehemiah would appear to be trapped.

Nevertheless, Nehemiah still appears to hope that God will somehow grant an impossible outcome; namely, that God will use him to influence the king. Nehemiah hopes to gain the king’s favor so that he will be released from his role as cupbearer and allowed to return to Jerusalem to oversee the rebuilding there. What an impossible outcome—an impossible dream! Nehemiah actually prays to be used for the Kingdom of God, even when it is quite clear by all human standards that the kingdom of Persia is absolute.

Now, it is all well and good to hear nice words about ancient men or women of faith, like Nehemiah; but it is not so easy to follow their examples when we find ourselves in difficult positions, is it?! When the illness can not be cured; when we find ourselves struggling with some great pain in our lives that we can not get past; when we find ourselves in a dead—end job, stuck with a boss who’s a jerk—when we find ourselves in such spots, most often our prayers are merely for deliverance. Most often we feel that there is no Godly use for us in such impossible circumstances. But Nehemiah refuses to believe such a thing.

His plan, such as it is, is to go into the king’s presence and look sad. In chapter 2 verse, Nehemiah puts it this way, "I had not been sad in his presence before." To our modern ears this doesn’t seem like much of a plan—looking sad in the presence of the king. But remember the ancient context and protocol. There was an exacting and specific protocol regarding how to come into the presence of an ancient king, especially an almighty king like Artaxerxes. One never looked sad in the king’s presence. Such impedance could cost you your head. But, having prayed to be used, Nehemiah courageously puts his neck on the line.

Why? Well, it wasn’t because he was confident that his plan would work. Notice verse 2 tells us that Nehemiah was very afraid. Just like we would be, Nehemiah is afraid. Nevertheless, when the king asks him why he looks so sad, Nehemiah boldly tells the king. Why? Why does he, a servant of the king, put his neck on the line even when he is afraid? I think the answer is remarkably simple. Nehemiah is willing to do what might cost him his life simply because he is a servant of Almighty God—first and foremost. Nehemiah fears the Lord God before and beyond any earthly power.

He does not know whether God will answer his prayer or not. In fact, at the end of verse 4 we read that Nehemiah prays a second time to God, before telling the king exactly what he wants. It is after this second prayer that Nehemiah asks the king to send him to Judah so that he can rebuild Jerusalem. Remarkably, the king gives Nehemiah permission—even gives him royal letters to take with him, giving him royal protection for the task.

Nehemiah’s prayers were answered. The rest of the book tells the story of Nehemiah working to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. He is used powerfully by the Lord, overcoming all sorts of opposition. He is powerfully used for God’s Kingdom—in part, at least, simply because he was faithful in prayer. What about us?

Let’s remember that Nehemiah did not know if God would answer his prayer in the way Nehemiah hoped. None of us can be sure that God will answer our prayers in the way we want. But Nehemiah did know that God could answer his prayer. Nehemiah knew the words of the prophets that had promised restoration for God’s people. He, like other Israelites, was looking for the coming of a new King—a new David—a Messiah. So, he was ready and willing to pray to be used in whatever role God had in store for him.

What about us? We have much more than Nehemiah had. Specifically, while Nehemiah could only look forward toward the divine promise of a Messiah, we have scriptures which tell us specifically of the Messiah, the Christ. His name is Jesus. He was crucified, dead and buried—raised on the third day—so that we could have eternal life. Jesus has called us to be his servants. Are we ready to pray to be used—even if we are in impossible circumstances and impossible places?

Remember the Lord’s Prayer? Remember the line that we pray, "Your Kingdom come"? As I said in the broadcast a couple of weeks ago, Jesus doesn’t teach us that line of the prayer so that we can sit back and watch God Almighty magically bring about his Kingdom. Instead, God works through us. He worked through Nehemiah of old and he will work through us. The Kingdom is his; the results are won only by his grace and in accordance with his timing; but, we are the servants he uses to bring about His Kingdom. So let us, like Nehemiah, respond to God’s call to be used for his Kingdom.

Remember my friend—the one who felt worthless to the church? A few weeks after he told me that he was worthless, I saw him handing out material and greeting members from the community who were coming to church one of our Christmas activities. I don’t know if my worthless—feeling friend had prayed to be used or not (perhaps I’ll ask him sometime). I don’t even know if he derived some sense of worth out of his work that night, but I do know that God is continuing to grow and advance his Kingdom, in the name of Christ and through his servants. I know that this man, even if he can’t do what he once did, even if he feels worthless at times, is being used by God. How are you being used? Are you praying to be used?

One last time now, as our series on prayer comes to an end, let’s conclude by saying the Lord’s Prayer together.

Prayer

Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be your name;
Your Kingdom come;
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Let all God’s people say, "Amen."

About the Author

Paul DeVries

Rev. Paul DeVries, most commonly referred to as “Pastor Paul”, is the Sr. Pastor of Brookside Christian Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He is married to Diane (nee Vanden Akker) and the father of four children. He graduated from Calvin Theological Seminary in 1989 and served for 12 years as the pastor of Unity Christian Reformed Church in Prospect Park, New Jersey. As a pastor his first love and greatest joy comes in the honor of bringing God’‘s Word to his congregation on a weekly basis through his preaching. He enjoys reading, camping with his family, watching his children’‘s sporting events, and working on home improvement projects - inside and outside his home.

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